Moments Behind The Mask: Severus Snape
by Half-BPrincess
Summary: This is the story of a boy, who fell in love with a girl. This is the story of a boy who broke his own heart. This is the story of a man, who saved the world. This is the story of Severus Snape. WARNING - VIOLENCE, CHILD ABUSE, SWEARING, ETC.


- Chapter 1 -

Pregnancy and Obedience

A tear slowly rolled down the face of Eileen Snape. She sat, hidden in the bathroom of her small home in Spinner's End. Her right hand was pressed, almost protectively, to her stomach, her left hand clutched a muggle pregnancy test. How could she have let this happen? It couldn't be possible! That bastard, that _muggle _couldn't have gotten her pregnant. It was all his fault! But it wasn't. It was her own fault. She should have used a contraception spell. But then they would have traced the spell, and found her. She should have declined to share his bed. She should never have married him. If Eileen was perfectly honest with herself, she knew that they shouldn't even have met. It was all useless conjecture now though… How could she bring a child into her sham of a marriage?

Eileen hadn't thought herself the type to marry. She knew that she wasn't beautiful, or witty, or smart. Any husband of hers would marry for money, and for connections. Her pure-blooded parents would, one day, find a match for her, she had thought, but that had all been a far distant dream. And now that dream would never come to pass, and she had only herself to blame.

Eileen could vividly remember the day she first met Joseph Yaxley. Her parents had arranged a dinner, to introduce them to one another. Joseph was everything a prospective fiancé should be; handsome, intelligent, charming... How sad for the boy, that the best of the Yaxleys should only be worth the worst of the Princes. Despite her cynicism of the whole affair Eileen had begun to believe that night, that her marriage could be bearable, perhaps even pleasurable.

But they were left alone together, and Joseph changed. Gone was his sparkling persona, in with his surly disregard for her. Every opinion Eileen cared to share, he argued against. Even topics that she felt were safe, such as the deplorable new headmaster at Hogwarts, were torn to shreds. Sometimes, she had wondered if it wasn't Joseph's intention to scare her away.

Around three months into their courting, Joseph had invited her to his family manor, for dinner with his parents. When Eileen had arrived, she had been slightly concerned that Joseph didn't take her straight to the elder Yaxley male as he usually did, but, as she had been brought up well, she ignored the slight. Instead of pleasant conversation and a small sherry, she had been escorted upstairs, to the library as Joseph said. But Joseph hadn't taken her to the library, he had taken her to his bedroom. She could still remember the look on his face as he leered over her, his slimy hands ripping open the clasp on her cloak. She could still remember the incredulous look on his face as she pulled out her wand, and pushed him away.

"What are you going to do with that, little Prince? You wouldn't dare to curse your future husband!" He had cried as he had advanced upon her once more. His wand had been lazily raised, and a non-verbal flick divested her of the thick woollen cloak she wore. He backed her into a corner, and raised his wand once more.

"Joseph, please!" Eileen's voice was lowly pitched, it wouldn't do to broadcast their troubles to the world. "Don't make me do something I'll regret!"

"Joseph, please!" He mimicked, cruelly. "There's nothing you can do that will stop me. Now take off that dress, darling, I want to know what I'm to live with."

Eileen raised an eyebrow with her wand, and whispered the only two words that would rid her of Joseph Yaxley's wandering hands, and perverse mind for good.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Eileen tore herself from the memories of what had happened, there was no use in dwelling on what could have been, but never would. Hesitantly, Eileen got to her feet, and stumbled to the master bedroom. She stood sideways, in front of the cracked mirror, and pulled up the hem of her shirt. Tobias didn't know she was a witch, so she had burned her wizarding robes, after she had hidden her wand. Eileen ran her hand down, over her faintly protruding belly. How had she not seen this before? She wiped her eyes with the threadbare sleeves of the shirt she wore.

She had to be strong, she had to find a way to get rid of the child. She couldn't give birth to this abomination! It would be a half-blood. Sullied by its father, it would lead a half-life. Eileen set her jaw, it was decided; she would abort the child, and Tobias would never know.

Her mind made up, Eileen breezed around the house, paying it little attention. She fixed dinner for Tobias, as she always did, and awaited his return. She knew that she should despise the filthy muggle, but in recent months she had grown quite fond of him. Sometimes, she even felt ashamed of the circumstances under which they had married.

The idea had come, originally from a cruel taunt thrown by Abraxas Malfoy, of all people, in a Potions lesson at Hogwarts. Her mind had been on the forthcoming Gobstones tournament, and not on her Amortentia potion, so she had mistakenly added the Ashwinder eggs before the peppermint leaves. Abraxas had laughed at her, drawing the attention of the rest of the class to her failure.

"You'd better learn how to brew love potions, Prince, how else will you ever find a husband with your looks?" He taunted. Eileen had learnt how to brew it then, out of spite, and for revenge had used it on a third year Hufflepuff who became obsessed with Abraxas for two days, before the child was unceremoniously thrown out of a window.

Eileen had once more brewed Amortentia to capture Tobias. She couldn't marry anyone rich, or she would be in society papers, and would be sure to be caught. All of the Aurors were brain-dead muggle-lovers. So she had to set her sights much lower down the scale. Tobias had leapt out at her from the other mill workers. He was a loner, with no family and few friends, he had his own house, and although he wasn't handsome, his onyx eyes were striking.

She had waited for him in a café near to the mill, and then spiked his tea with the love potion. He had been enamoured of her, and, after several more 'chance' meetings had proposed.

She supposed it must have been very strange for Tobias, to be madly in love one minute, and then suddenly be married to a woman for whom he had few feelings, and barely knew. Eileen didn't care though; it wasn't in her nature. She was still lost in recollections as Tobias entered their home.

He sat at the table with her, and ate his meal slowly, constantly looking up and staring at Eileen thoughtfully.

"Will you stop eyeing me?" Her brow was furrowed in annoyance. "It's really quite unbecoming!"

"You're not eating." He stated, choosing to ignore his wife's temper.

"I'm not really hungry." Eileen replied, trying desperately to sound nonchalant; since that morning, when she had found out about the baby, she had lost all of her appetite.

"You were sick this morning. Are you ill?" Tobias looked over at Eileen, concern plain in his expressive, obsidian eyes.

"I suppose I must be, but nothing to worry about, I feel perfectly fine now." Eileen began to rise up out of her seat, before a sharp glare from Tobias made her plant her bottom down again. She didn't understand how he could do that; he was a muggle, she was the superior one, she should be in charge. But still, he could and would order her about the house and Eileen obeyed. After all, she reasoned, she was _his _wife.

"You were sick yesterday morning too." Eileen could almost see the cogs working in Tobias's mind. He wasn't a stupid man, just an ignorant one.

"Are you trying to imply something, Tobias?" She allowed just a hint of anger into her voice, an obvious warning that, as per usual, went completely unheeded by her husband.

"Don't be coy with me, Eileen." Tobias sighed, and leaned forward to grasp her hands. "I know you're pregnant." And with those four words, Eileen's body folded in on itself, and began to shake. Her arms wrapped round herself, as if she were trying to keep herself whole, and a horrible choking sound came from her throat.

After a moment of looking on uncertainly, Tobias realised she was crying. He felt slightly smug, he had worked out the secret she was keeping from him. But why was she so upset that she was with child? It didn't make sense. Tobias knew that Eileen didn't love him, he would have to be obtuse to think that she did, but was it really such a terrible idea? They were married, after all. And what was the point of marriage, but procreation?

He shuffled around the table, and awkwardly placed his hand on her back. He began to rub her back with a circular motion. Tobias desperately hoped that this would help, that Eileen would stop crying; he had never been a man to show emotion and so as such, had little idea of how to deal with emotion.

Gradually, her sobs lessened, and she raised red-rimmed eyes to her husband. For a change, Tobias could see something in her emerald eyes; despair. He recoiled slightly, Eileen's eyes were usually blank, and narrowed at him. The only positive things he had ever seen in her eyes were lust and desire, in the bedroom. But he had never seen her look so despondent, nor had he known her to lose control of herself to easily.

"Is it really that repulsive to you?" Tobias's voice was barely above a whisper. "Carrying my child?" He sounded hollow, because that was how he felt, hollow and worthless. His words, however sparked Eileen's temper.

"What do you imply, oh-husband-of-mine?" Her lips found their way into a smirk. "You think I want your child? You think I'm going to keep it?" Eileen stood, with elegant grace, and made to stalk out of the kitchen.

Tobias took hold of her wrist, and dragged her in front of him. He stood over her, using his height to his advantage. His crooked nose was bent to her own.

"You, Wife, shall do no such thing." He glared menacingly. "How dare you think that you have the right to abort _my _child? I won't let you. I won't have it."

"You can't stop me!" She spat in his face, petulantly, and tried to wrench her arm from his grip. His free hand raised to his face, and for a moment he looked almost confused at the slick saliva on his fingertips. And then, his hand came down across her face with an almighty _SMACK! _that resounded around the kitchen.

Eileen shrieked, and recoiled in horror, her hands cradling her red cheek.

"Go warm my bed, Eileen. I'll be up once I've had a drink." His voice was low, but steady, and belied none of his inner turmoil. Eileen eagerly took the escape from her husband, and all but ran from the room.

Tobias sank back down to the table, his head in his hands, alone with his thoughts. _How could I hit my own wife? _He thought to himself. _I am her husband, I should be protecting her! _But another, darker voice spoke up loudly. _She would abort my child, I will do what I must._

He stayed at the table for little over thirty minutes, before extracting his gin from the sitting room and hastily drinking himself into enough of a stupor that when he eventually retired to bed, he would be able to look his wife in the eyes.

- HBP – HBP- HBP – HBP – HBP -

Tobias paused outside of the door to his wife's room, listening amusedly to the screams from the woman that resided within.

"I don't want it, oh God, I don't want it!" Eileen's voice was shrill, and she sounded very frustrated. "Filthy little bastard!" She screeched. He sighed, before pulling a key from his pocket and unlocking the bedroom door.

Eileen had been acting like this for the past few days; ever since Tobias had been forced to lock her into their bedroom, to keep the baby safe. She'd sworn that she would abort it somehow, so Tobias had had no choice but to keep her inside the house, away from anything harmful. He had to protect _his_ child.

It had only been a week since he had told her he knew about the pregnancy, but that week had been hell. Eileen hadn't stopped screaming, or threatening to abort the child. Four nights of the past seven Tobias had slept in the guest room just to get away from her.

He opened the door slowly, being careful to crouch a little. Yesterday she had thrown a pillow at him, and knocked the tray of food from his hands. As he entered the room, however, it became clear that Eileen had a new plan.

The door had just swung wide enough to admit Tobias, when he was greeted with his wife flying at him whilst beating her fists. She managed to get a few good knocks in at his face before he thrust her from him. He dropped the tray, and took hold of her hands, raising them so far above her head that she had to stand on her toes.

"How dare you?" He roared. "How dare you to touch your husband in that manner? Think you'd escape, did you? Where were you going to go, eh?" Tobias slapped her around the face with his free hand, causing tears to flow down her face. "You will keep this child, and you will stay, and you will be a mother to it. Do you understand me?"

"I won't!" Eileen sobbed. "I can't… it's wrong, so very wrong! Let me get rid of it, you can get rid of me, you'll never see me again, I promise! You can find a better wife!" Her pleading was rewarded with only another slap, this time on her left cheek.

"Don't presume to tell me what to do in my own home!" Tobias glared at her. "Don't tell me what to do, ever! It is not your place, it is _mine._"

Eileen shrank back at his frosty tone, her whole body quivering with fear. Tobias lowered her arms slightly, and pulled her over to the chair in the corner. He sat down first, and laid her, face down across his lap.

"T…Tob…Tobias?" Her voice was still high pitched and shaking, but it had lost most of its volume. "What… what are you…? Tob… AUGH!" Tobias's hand slapped down on her rear once more. "OHH! T… Tob… Don't need… ARGH… to do this… NO! I pr… promise… AAH… to be good!" Eileen sobbed, keenly feeling the sting in her cheeks of his hand repeatedly spanking her. Tobias smiled slightly, at the visible control of his wife, but now it was time to show her just how _in control _he was.

He lifted Eileen to her feet, still sobbing, and began to unbutton her shirt. She shied away, and tried to halt his progress, but he stilled her protests with a sharp blow to her head. Soon enough her blouse was on the floor, her skirt had been ripped off, and she stood in front of him in just her underwear. Tobias reached around behind her, and unclasped her brassiere, then ripped off her cotton knickers. He threw her backwards onto the bed and advanced, whilst unbuttoning his trousers, a feral grin on his face.

Tobias was oblivious to Eileen's twitching, and writhing beneath him, just as he was oblivious to her hoarse voice, screaming and sobbing alternately. It didn't take long for him to satisfy himself, and he climbed off the bed smirking at his wife.

The image of Eileen spread across their marital bed, Tobias knew, would stay with him forever, and haunt him until he died. She lay naked on the bed, tears still streaming down her face, bruises beginning to form across her body. The blood between her legs attested to how roughly he had taken her. Tobias felt slightly sick, but Eileen had learnt her lesson; _He _was in control, and _she _would not harm _his _child.

Even as he watched, his dark orbs boring into her own, the green eyes looking down, then closing as her whole head turned away from him. It was defiance, but tinged with the knowledge that there was nothing she could do. As he left the room one final tear slowly rolled down the high cheekbones. Eileen was broken.

- HBP – HBP- HBP – HBP – HBP -

"Where's my child, Eileen?" Tobias whispered menacingly into his wife's ear. "What have you done with it?"

"Severus is in the cot at the end of my bed." Eileen said tartly. "You missed the birth, you said you'd be here."

"I had better things to do than to listen to you whinge, Eileen. I get that enough at home." He moved towards the cot, barely giving his wife a cursory glance. "Wait… what did you say you called him?"

"Severus, after my grandfather." Eileen repeated the name. "Maybe if you'd been here at the birth you could have had some say in his name. It's done now. Severus Snape." She sniffed, her nose turned up at her husband.

"You are vile, woman." Tobias spat at her feet, eyes still on the babe. "Sure he's mine?"

"How could he be anything but?" Eileen hissed angrily. "You've had me locked in your house for months!" Tobias didn't respond, only reaching down a hand to gently stroke his son's cheek. The boy's - Severus's - eyes opened as he stared back at his father. Looking at the colour, Tobias had no doubt that Severus was his.

Severus's eyes were as black as night, exactly the same as Tobias's. With a peaceable yawn, the small baby closed his eyes again, and leaned into his father's hand.

"My son," Tobias whispered hoarsely, his throat constricted with emotion. "My boy."

"He's a beautiful thing isn't he?" A chirpy nurse appeared next Tobias. "Not too big though, is he? You can take him, and your wife home now, if you'd like to. They don't need to stay the night."

Tobias called a taxi with his son safe in the crook of his arm. Severus seemed to like the touch of his father, eyes opening and lazily closing again when Tobias picked him up, or shifted him around. There was silence in the taxi ride back to Spinner's End, apart from Severus's tiny yawns and whimpers. Eileen stared unseeingly out of the window, completely ignoring her son and husband.

When they entered the house she retired upstairs, leaving Tobias to search out powdered milk for the babe.

- HBP – HBP- HBP – HBP – HBP -

Eileen had stayed in bed for almost three days before Tobias snapped. In those three days, he had barely slept. Although Severus was a fairly quiet baby, he still needed feeding every few hours, and still needed changing, and burping… and his mother.

Baby Severus was awakened by screaming. A shrill woman's voice screeched through the night, interspersed with a rough, deep growl and after a time, he heard blows. Later, when Severus cried out, nobody came.

- HBP – HBP- HBP – HBP – HBP -

**A/N: **Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me... Pretty much everything has been updated today, so check out the new installments of everything else too!


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